Short Story #6 – Haircut by Ring Lardner

Haircut by Ring Lardner

With a title of ‘Haircut’ I am interested to see where this goes. It doesn’t sound all that interesting, but I hope otherwise.

Already I quite like it, the style of being talked to, I’ll take a stab and say that this person is a hairdresser and we are their customer, getting a haircut, and this is our conversation! Interesting how a couple of people, or even just one person, can light up a room, and can make a bad day a good one. This Jim is certainly a character. A life without fun and laughter, is not really a life. If you can’t have fun (at least some of the time) well what else is there in life to live for, if you aren’t happy. But even though Jim seems happy, he is wasting his life with alcohol. Why did he get married in the first place, if he no longer loves his wife (sure you can fall ‘out of love’). Does he not want to support his own children? This man is horrible! Why would you promise to go to the circus, and then never turn up, leaving your children crying! Sure he can make people laugh, but he is a terrible person for making his own children cry. And then he hates the man who actually let them into the show. Disgusting! He just gets worse and worse, he torments a mentally disabled person, what is wrong with this man?!?I hope that he doesn’t mess with this new doc and Julie, there will be consequences if he does!

Jim’s wife should divorce him big time. Even if she can’t quite support her kids, isn’t there money from welfare in America? It’s terrible to think of all the people who are stuck in similar situations with (usually, not always) dead beat husbands, who are alcoholics or druggies, or abusive and can’t get out because without their money, they would be unable to support themselves and their children. Men like them, don’t deserve wives or children, sometimes it isn’t their ‘fault’, they had terrible childhoods, etc, but it is their fault for continuing the process, man up, and move on! Of course Jim wants Julie, but HE CAN”T HAVE HER, she must be with the doctor, go die in a hole Jim, you don’t deserve her!

Jim is the worst man alive! In-front of his own wife and kids, he tries to get Julie. Not only that, but when he fails, he tries to practically rape her! He should be locked up FOREVER! News travels so fast in small towns, nearly as fast as in a High-school. Oh, how I hate Jim! He gathers up a bunch of drunk blokes to frighten poor Julie in a dark stairway. Why do the community allow this to happen? Why isn’t he locked up? Why hasn’t anyone stood up to him? It seems everyone knew about all the things he did, so why didn’t anyone take action. I guess it’s just because we always think someone else will or that it is someone elses problem and not ours. Sometimes we are so terrible! I hope the doctor makes him suffer so much, I honestly wouldn’t care if Jim died, but the only thing is, is that I wouldn’t want the doctor to feel guilty or to have a terrible conscience, why can’t Jim die from a car accident or something terribly painful!

OMG is Jim going to die in a ‘hunting accident’? I hope so! MWHAHAHAHA JIM IS DEAD, THANKGOODNESS! I don’t believe it really was an ‘accident’ and even if it was he deserved it! With the doctor being the coroner, he would have easily been able to say that it was just an accident even if Paul purposely shot him. But Paul had never used a gun, and was a little slow, and if it was an accident then, it serves him right, why would you be stupid enough to let someone hold a gun who has never used it before, when you are so nearby? Does anyone disagree? Does anyone think that the shouldn’t have died? I certainly believe he should have died, even if he was a ‘character’. Death is nothing to be taken lightly and I usually would be against the death penalty and murder. But sometimes people do such terrible things, and they don’t seem to show remorse, and it makes me think, that they should die, especially if the take away the life or rights of another person. Guns should never have been invented, and I totally disagree with America’s slack stance. What do you really need a gun for? Let’s be honest here. Hunting? It isn’t hunting, if you have a gun, and it isn’t hunting if you don’t eat the meat or just injure the birds, that is just disgraceful. If you want to hunt, be old school and actually use a basic bow and arrow (no high tech stuff). Protection? From what exactly? Other countries survive quite fine without them! All guns should be destroyed! All nuclear weapons should be destroyed (another matter entirely)! But sometimes a person’s stupidity is what causes them to die.

The next short story is Ernest Hemingway’s A Clean, Well-Lighted Place

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